Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers. – Proverbs 17:6
Prior to 2021, I have always read that Proverb and that about the “glory of children” part. Now with two precious grandchildren, the first part has deep meaning. Sarah Long once said, “My grandfather was a wonderful role model. Through him, I got to know the gentle side of men.” I confess my grandchildren have made me softer and more gentle.
When our grandson, Clark, was born. I remember being overwhelmed by emotion. I recall much reflection and thinking forward to how I could bless him. Sure we wrestle and play outside and look for acorns and anything else he enjoys doing. But how can I bless him? Much like I did at key moments with our daughter, I began writing letters to Clark and now our grandaughter Ellen. (Read my post about How to Bless Your Children)
Here are a few things I am discering about blessing my grandchildren.
1. Be Present. Grandkids need and desire their grandparents regardless of their age. Yes, as they grow older things change. Do not use that as an excuse not to be present. My wife and I live 8 hours away from our grandkids. Our daughter is so consistent about FaceTime and phone calls. And we travel to see them every chance we get. My wife gets to be there more often that I can be. But she and I are learning the irreplaceable value of being present.
2. Be Prayerful. Our grandkids are growing up in a world unlike anything we have faced. Yes we had our challenges, but today is quite different. Pray for your grandchildren daily. Pray for their salvation. Pray that they would find their security in Jesus. Pray that the Lord would use them to change the world for His glory. Pray for their parents. When you don’t know what to do or how to respond, take time to pray.
3. Be Playful. Take time to play. My grandson’s favorite thing for us to do is to “westle” as he calls it. When we are preparing to visit and I ask him what he wants to do first is to wrestle. I love that. He is in a season where he loves to swing. And I will push him as long as he desires. Take time to play with your grandkids. I was talking to a grandma recently at a hospital visit and she was talking about her pre-teen granddaughter teaching her to play Roblox. She said “I’m awful at it.” But what a great message to her granddaughter that she is willing to play a game with her.
4. Be Patient. Be patient with your grandchildren. There will be times where they test you at every age. Be patient with their parents. They love your grandchildren with their entire being. They will make parenting decisions that for whatever reason you may not agree. Be patient. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13:4 that “Love is patient and kind…” Remember your role. You are the grandparent… not the parent. :). Be patient.
I mentioned one of the ways I chose to bless our grandkids is through the ministry of letter writing. Here are two letters I recently wrote to Clark and Ellen upon her birth in January 2024. I don’t share these as a way to brag or boast. I am a fellow struggler as a man and as a grandparent. But maybe it will prompt someone to write letters that one day our grandkids will value.
Clark,
You are the one who made me a Pops. It thrills my heart every time you call me by that name! The last two and a half years have gone by so quickly. When you were born I was worried that I would not be enough. I was worried about the distance of Nona and me living in Knoxville and you and your Mommy and Daddy living in Tallahassee. But you have always made me feel like I am enough. And you are always eager to see both of us.
You are always excited for you and me to play outside, exploring the backyard, wrestling, and just being together. Over the past few months, I have been praying for you. I always pray every day for you. But the last few months, I have been praying for you as you prepare to welcome your little sister into the world. Life for you will never be the same.
You have such a sweet spirit and I know you are going to be an amazing big brother.
I cannot wait to see how you will grow to love her. There are so many things I wonder. I wonder what nicknames you will have for each other. I wonder what you will fight over together. I wonder how protective you will be of your little sister. I wonder so many things.
I will forever hold the last two and half years closely in my heart. Yes, you are about to be a big brother. But you will always be the first one who called me Pops. You will always be my first grandchild! I will love your little sister with all my heart. There will be times when I will need to spend special time where her like we have together. I cannot wait for Ellen to discover how neat it is to be a part of your family!
I love you, always! Pops
Dear Sweet Ellen,
You made your grand entrance on Monday morning, January 29, 2024. Your Nono and I arrived in Tallahassee at 9:30pm the night before to help take care of your big brother, Clark, while your mommy and daddy were at the hospital preparing for your birth. Nono and I had the unspeakable joy of holding you for the first time the morning you were born. It thrilled my soul.
As I held you at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital and prayed for you, I could not hold back my tears. You are such an incredible blessing to us. As I write this, I am back at our home in Knoxville, Tennessee. You have been in this world for just a few days, but we already love you so much.
Ellen, words cannot express how deeply you are loved. You are loved by your mommy and daddy and your big brother, Clark. Your brother already refers to you as “my baby.” You are loved by all of your grandparents and your great grandma and all of your family. You are so fortunate to have all of your grandparents. We will teach you patience and you will learn about our flaws. But we will give you all of the time in the world.
As I shared in a letter to your brother when he was born, I want to be the best Pops possible. I am so excited to watch you grow and learn new things. I cannot wait to witness what a beautiful young lady you will become one day. I want to share some commitments I am making to you and God as your life unfolds.
I promise to pray for you every day. Just as I pray for your Nono and your mommy and your brother every day of their lives, even before they were born. I am praying for you. I pray that God protects you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I pray that you come to know Him as your personal Lord and Savior at an early age. I pray that you love Jesus. Nothing is more important! I pray for your future spouse, that he also loves Jesus. I pray that you both remain pure until the day that you marry. And I pray that you know how much you are loved, not only by God but by all of your family.
I commit to encourage your mommy and daddy in all they do to raise you in the ways of the Lord. You have been given incredible parents. They love you so much. I want to be the type of Pops that always supports them. I want you to be a daughter who obeys your mommy and daddy. I know sometimes you may think they are the dumbest people on the planet and that they don’t know anything. But you need to know that they are making choices that they believe are the best for you, even if it doesn’t seem like it to you at the time. They love you more than you can ever comprehend (until maybe you have children of your own). They are responsible for you and they are doing their best. They will make mistakes, no one is perfect, but they always have your best interests at heart.
I promise to always be there for you. One of my favorite things is to talk to your brother on the phone and facetime with him. I cannot wait until you get old enough to do the same. Your calls will always be a priority. Nothing will be more important than talking to you. You will grow up faster than I would like. But I want to spend as much time as possible with you. I already have dreams of taking you to the lake in our boat, to the beach, to football games (ask your mommy about the time we were soaked in the rain at a UT football game), or wherever you would like to go. I can’t wait to be there for dance recitals or gymnastics or volleyball (like your mommy) whatever you love to do. I just want to be with you.
I will be your greatest cheerleader. As I held you earlier this week, I prayed silently that the Lord would direct your steps to pursue whatever passions He puts in you. I will be there to encourage you, to cheer you on, to remind you that you can do anything in God’s strength. If you ever need someone to talk to. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on. If you ever just want to hang out. I am here for you. I love you.
Ellen, before I ever married your Nono, I had dreams of having children. I prayed that God would give me the opportunity to influence those He entrusted to me. God answered my prayers beyond measure. Your mommy is one of the greatest joys of my life. But, as your mommy grew and married your daddy, I began to dream and pray about the joy of having grandchildren. You are our second grandchild but our first granddaughter. You are an answer to those many years of prayers. The Lord has been so faithful to me and Nono.
I had the joy of spending some amazing time with my Papaw and Grandmother growing up. I have always been grateful for the years I enjoyed with them. God willing, I will be there for you. God willing, we will have many great years and memories together.
In the words of Jay Kesler, “ Young people need something stable to hang on to – a connection, a sense of their own past, a hope for their own future. Most of all, they need what grandparents can give them”.
I am here to spoil you whenever I can and I look forward to watching you grow.
I love you so very much, sweet Ellen. – Pops
