This article was originally posted April 26, 2018.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and growing healthy in love within our marriages.  The reality is often times we are least patient with the person closest to us.  In 1 Corinthians 13:4, Paul writes “Love is patient…”  The word “patient” is a compound word in the original language [makros (long) thumos (outburst of passion)].  Literally the word means to go long between outbursts of passion.  The emphasis of the word is on patience with people not circumstances.

Here are four ways to develop greater patience with your spouse.

Accept your spouse as they are not as you want them to be.  Often times patience wanes in marriage when our spouse does not do or act as we desire.  Simply accept your spouse as they are.  The goal of marriage is not to change your spouse.  Rather, ask God to change you!

Receive your spouse as God’s gift to you.  When someone receives a gift they usually handle it with care.  How much more patient would we be with our spouses if we realized the gift they are from the Lord?  Take time to recognize the characteristics of your spouse as a gift for you rather than a frusrtration to you.

Read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  Take time to realize the love language of your spouse and seek to speak their language.  I have discovered that there is a love language I speak berst and a love language I receive the best.  It is helpful to note the differences.  For example, my wife’s love language is “quality time.”  However, the love language that I speak naturally is “acts of service.”  I can do all the well-intentioned acts of service I desire, but if I am not spending quality time with her I miss the opportunity to communicate love in a way she receives it best.  I promise discovering the love language of your spouse will nurture greater patience.

Seek to serve your spouse.  I have discovered when I begin to put the needs of my wife before my own, I am so much more patient.  Romans 12:10 says that we are outdo one another in showing honor.

 

What else have you found helpful for developing greater patience with your spouse?