A couple stands before family and friends and share “…with this ring I pledge my life and my love to you…” and a marriage is born.  Such powerful words shared.  At the foundation of a marriage is healthy communication.  Many experts would propose that communication is the key to a stronger marriage.  Sharing words about the joys of life, they challenges of life, the struggles of life.

As blood is to the body, healthy communication is to a marriage.  Proverbs 18:21 reads, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

The truth is words are powerful.  What words need to be spoken into a marriage?  What words need to be eliminated in a marriage?  I think every couple must work to eliminate some words in their marriage.  Which of these need do you need to eliminate?

  • Lying words
  • Silent words
  • Corrupt words
  • Hurtful words
  • Foolish words

Here are some keys to good communication that I have discovered throughout my years of marriage and counseling couples.

  1. Seek to understand and not be understood. (Proverbs 18:2)
  2. Realize you may not know the whole story. (Proverbs 18:17)
  3. Do not interrupt your spouse when they are speaking. (Proverbs 18:13)
  4. Pay attention to non-verbal cues.
  5. Disagree without being disagreeable. (Proverbs 20:3; Proverbs 15:1)
  6. Pray for and with your spouse.
  7. When you are wrong admit it.  When you are right keep quiet.

What am I missing? What have you found to be they key to good communication in your marriage?